Friday, September 24, 2010

New Friends, Old Friends.

I've been thinking about where to begin. Though simply put, I realized I shall just start from where I am at now in life. The past few days feel like they've been a whirlwind, though surprisingly I'm quite contempt with the outcomes. My best friend and I parted ways. I guess it was easier than I expected it to be, and something I should have seen coming. I feel a bit bitter about the situation, even more so as he was more so disrespectful about it all. Though in hindsight I now see that I think it was more so to save his own feelings. We've been friends for about a year now, we hit it off quite well. Until a boy came a long a few months into our friendship. It caused a lot of tension and animosity amongst us, we were all quite emotionally involved. Eventually they ended up dating, something I both praised and resented.  However after a month and a half of dating, the boy dumped my best friend for reasons we both don't quite understand. After that, I continued to talk to the boy, until Jay gave me the ultimatum of talking with him or his ex. I chose him. However a few weeks ago, I began talking with him again. Jay caught me and had snooped my computer one day while I showered. While there are other parties involved, I shall keep it as simple as possible. Since then it was been a complete downfall. We hadn't seen each other in nearly a week until Wednesday night. In the end, he feels like he can't trust me and that I back stabbed him. That he can't deal with the hurt, and he doesn't want connections to his ex(as he has had a hard time getting over him), thus my being an occasional friend with him links them together.
I put a lot into that friendship. However I can't help but move on. I wish him the best. As well, I do have to thank his mother who always made me feel welcome, and sometimes felt like my Windsor mother as mine lives an hour away.

I do have good news though, I have some of the best neighbours one could find. They are absolutely amazing people. We are like a family. They are both straight couples, my age. We all chill and hang out. Two though are new to the building. I spent much of my day with them. In fact, I consider them two be some of my closest if not best friends yet. While I realize that is jumping the gun, they feel like family. We cook dinner and eat together, we do everything together. In fact, we went to $3 yoga tonight at the Downtown Yoga Studio. Ella had gone to it before, and I had too prior, as Jay's friend runs it. It's absolutely amazing and I recommend it to anyone who is interested in Yoga. It's every Friday at 7pm above the Capitol Theatre on the corner of Pelissier and University downtown. It felt so good to do it. I was surprised at how much I could stretch! I was so relaxed by the end I fell asleep in the relaxing part at the end that Manny(Ella's boyfriend) has to wake me up as I was snoring.

As well, I've been trying to catch up with old friends I've neglected or lost contact with. I spent most of my days before with Jay, which looking back now was not fair to myself nor them. Mind you I only have myself too blame. As well, last night I ran into an old high school peer from my school in Leamington. We talked a bit and caught up and we exchanged numbers. I'm not sure where that will go, but it was nice to see her. We never had talked much as we were in two different groups, but it's funny how time changes us.

The last bit of good news I wish to share, was I went shopping today at Wal-Mart with my friend Jaimee. We work together and have all the same classes together. What was supposed to be a trip for her to just simply get a bag of dog food turned into a 2hr shopping spree. $200 later(on my part) and 2 full shopping carts I walked away with a lot of goodies. In which I picked up 3 really nice sweaters. All of which were an XL. They're designed to fit tight but they fit really well. This is amazing for me as last year I was just fitting into a big 2XL to a 3XL. I was so excited and I can't wait to wear them.

In closing, I learned a new word today at Yoga, Namaste It quite intrigued me, as this is such a powerful yet simple word. It's  greeting the instructor said that is said at both the beginning and end of Yoga. It has several meanings, however I've found some quotes that will better describe it than myself.
The gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. "Nama" means bow, "as" means I, and "te" means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bow me you" or "I bow to you."
To perform Namaste, we place the hands together at the heart charka, close the eyes, and bow the head. It can also be done by placing the hands together in front of the third eye, bowing the head, and then bringing the hands down to the heart. This is an especially deep form of respect. Although in the West the word "Namaste" is usually spoken in conjunction with the gesture, in India, it is understood that the gesture itself signifies Namaste, and therefore, it is unnecessary to say the word while bowing.
  • "I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me." -- attributed to but not claimed by author Deepak Chopra[4]
  • "I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One."[5][6]
  • "Your spirit and my spirit are ONE." -- attributed to Lilias Folan's shared teachings from her journeys to India.[citation needed]
  • "That which is of God in me greets that which is of God in you."[7]
  • "The Divinity within me perceives and adores the Divinity within you. First spoken by Indira Sankrishzahara to Michael Gratiot upon his arrival in Lhasa, Tibet.

So to my old friends and to my new friends. Namaste.

Good bye old friend.

 - K.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

4am, a Bagel & a Cigarette

It's 4am, and in exactly 7hours I will be entering into my Chemistry class to write my first test/quiz of the semester, worth 5% of my overall mark. It's a rather simple quiz, simply on matter and knowing the 40 different elements required to know for the class. I've yet to begin studying. Actually I haven't even yet to look through the textbook I charged $110 to my credit card for.

I'm simply just sitting here, smoking my cigarette and slowing eating a ham and cheese bagel I made to pass the time it feels like. I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Deathcab for Cutie is playing. It's been my latest song I've had just on repeat. It's a nice break from the usual channel 95.5 I have playing from my radio.  Clearly not one of my best moments in life, yet I still sit here contently. My bachelor apartment is torn apart. Half in my half-assed attempt to redecorate, the other pure laziness. I just called my friend Sarah. She's sick,  with the flu I believe, yet I still felt some compelling urge to call her and wake her. She wasn't angry, not even the slightest hint of being upset was in her voice that I so rudely woke her. She just listened as I talked nonsense for 5 minutes, then said good bye so she could go back to sleep.

I've been wanting to create a blog for some time now, however now is the time I really feel the need to create one. I just finished watching Julie and Julia around 10pm. That may have something to do with it. While I may not be willing to take on the daunting task of creating all 500+ recipes from Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, I have my own tasks in mind.

Here I plan to blog about my fight against fast food, pop, over spending, cigarettes, and my self-absorbed attitude. Now where to start.....